So an old note that I had written 8 years ago popped up on my Facebook’s “Looking Back” app and I clicked on it to give it a read. I’m so glad that I did! It reminded me of God’s faithfulness and his attention to every detail of our lives. I wrote this when I made the HUGE decision to move from Minnesota half-way across the country to Texas, not knowing anyone or what to expect, but stepping out in faith and letting the Lord lead me. So, without further ado… the note.
The big move…
September 6, 2008
For everyone who is all of a sudden realizing that I have up-and-left Minnesota, this is the (rather lengthy) explanation for the abrupt move. I am sorry that I didn’t tell everyone, but to be honest, it was a decision that was made quickly although it had long-since been in the works. Okay…where do I start…?
Well, the beginning I suppose. So January-April of 2007 I spent in Latin America- mostly in Costa Rica, but also in Nicaragua, Guatemala and Cuba. To say that this time was “life-changing” would be a vast understatement; my eyes were opened to a lot of things I didn’t want to see, my attitudes were changed from those of complacency to those of action, and my faith was challenged on every side (read my note “Life would be so much easier…” to hear more). Anyways, on my plane ride home I sat next to this girl who was a teacher in Houston and when she found out that I spoke spanish she really encouraged me to look into teaching in Texas. That was the first seed.
Meanwhile, I really haven’t felt fulfilled in my waitressing job at TGI Fridays. I have been desperately trying to figure out my place in life, but to no avail. I was feeling restless in my spirit staying in Minnesota and staying in my current job. I knew that if I stayed where I was, that Satan would succeed in holding me down and keep me from reaching my full, God-given potential. He doesn’t want me to step out of the boat. He wants to keep me looking at God (and others) from a distance, and keep me from never really grasping the abundance that God has for me in this life. I am ambitious…I WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD, but I know that I have to take baby steps and I know that I have to SEEK OUT opportunities; they won’t always just fall in my lap. SO…I decided, (after many others suggested the same thing) to try and teach in Texas. There is a high need here for bilingual teachers and I LOVE children, so I thought, “okay why not?” So I said to God that I would step out in faith and that I would continue to step out until doors started closing. That was a while ago.
Since then I flew down here, took the teaching exams, passed them, and now…well, now I am stepping out of the boat and trying to walk on water. I was listening to a sermon a couple of weeks ago on this story (Matthew 14:22-33) and I really felt a connection to Peter. Jesus calls to him and he steps out of the boat…and he’s walking on water…and then all of a sudden he loses faith and starts to sink. In many ways I feel like him- I have taken my big step out of the boat, out of my comfort zone, into the unkown and dark waters, but now I am getting uncomfortable and nervous and am losing faith. But I don’t want to sink like Peter; rather, I want to keep my eyes firmly set on the author and perfector of my faith who I know, without a doubt, will work things out in accordance with his perect will (Romans 8:28).
So anyways, there is a job that I have my sights set on (but I am not as experienced as they would like) that has not yet been filled. It is an Elementary bilingual instructional support teacher for Hopkins Elementary School in San Antonio. My prayer is still that I would get this job, but even if I don’t, I’m sure that God has something planned for me here. My prayer now is for faith, endurance, patience, and trust in this time of waiting. The waiting game is so hard and so uncertain, but it has made me surrender control- and now my life is in God’s hands. I pray that God would guide me and direct me to where he wants me to be and that he would be faithful in preparing me for what lies ahead.
That’s what brings me to Texas. 🙂