As we have been getting closer and closer to Jedidiah’s arrival, we have been preparing our hearts and our home to welcome him in. We’ve started attending natural childbirth classes, have his nursery mostly set-up and we’ve been reading TONS about sleep training, breast feeding… you name it.
So when a friend asked me two questions the other day, “What are you most afraid of?” And, “What are you most excited about?,” I was surprised at how unprepared I was to answer. Casey always asks questions like this, he’s very inquisitive, and they really made me think.
What am I most afraid of?
I think I’m most afraid of how the birth of Jedidiah will change the dynamic between Trent and I. I love my husband. I love the time we spend together. Now that he’s back at school, I don’t see nearly enough of him, and I treasure our limited time together. When we add a baby to the mix… one that has a lot of needs, I worry about balancing our needs as a couple with the needs of our baby and family as a whole.
I guess that I’m also worried that the birth of our baby boy won’t go as I had planned. I have this grand idea of me in the birthing center, totally zen, rocking birth out like nature intended it to be rocked. Trent at my side, with the time and freedom to birth the way my body needs me to. But then I picture some sort of crazy complication or premature labor that would force me to have a hospital birth instead of the birth I have planned for myself. I picture myself out of my element and panicking, pressured to make decisions that I don’t want to make. This scares me. C-sections scare me. Not having control over the situation scares me.
What am I most excited about?
Honestly, I can’t wait to see Jedi. I want to know what he looks like and what his personality is like. I can’t wait to see which traits he exhibits of ours and who he takes after in different ways. I am so excited to meet this little genetic mixer of Trent and I!
I can’t wait to hold him in my arms, instead of just in my belly. Don’t get me wrong, I love having him in my belly. I love his little kicks and love punches, his movements that let me know that he’s there and doing alright. But it will be so different to actually hold him, caress him, kiss his little cheeks! I also can’t wait for Trent to be able to hold him and kiss him and get a chance to bond with him.
I am also super excited to see my husband as a father. Trent is so great with kids and he’s so excited about this baby. He tells me all the time. He loves to lay on my belly… just him and Jedi. I can’t wait to see their dynamic in action. Trent’s going to be such a good daddy and I am excited to see him tackle this new role!
Yet, as I was pondering these questions, I also started to think about something else. Trent and I have been preparing our hearts for the coming of this baby, but I wonder, do we prepare our hearts the same way for the coming of our Lord? Babies take 40 weeks to grow and develop and we know (relatively) when they are coming. There are lists and blogs and countless articles about how to prepare for a baby… but what about for Jesus? The Bible tells us that his return is imminent, and judging by all the different prophesies being fulfilled, he will make his return soon. How soon? Maybe today. Maybe next week. Maybe years from now. But are we ready? Have we prepared our hearts to welcome Jesus back? The Bible warns us to “Keep watch” because we do not know the day nor the hour, but to recognize the signs. “Even so, when you see these things happening, you know that it is near, right at the door” (Mark 13:29). My prayer today is that I would not only prepare my heart to meet my baby boy, but that I would prepare my heart to meet my savior who came into the world as a baby boy 2,000 years ago. My prayer is that as I prepare to hold Jedidiah in my arms, that I would also be prepared to behold my savior when he comes again in glory. My prayer is that as excited as I am for this little bundle of joy, that I would be even more excited to meet my Jesus face to face. What about you? How are you preparing? Will you be ready for him when he comes?